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 *NEED TITLE*

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Hanna (:
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PostSubject: *NEED TITLE*   Fri Nov 06, 2009 1:09 am

OK, so I'm writing this short story thingie, and I really need a title! Here are the first 2 chapters. LMK if you get a cool title for it Smile

((this is supposed to be like the end of the story, but I put the end first, then I'm doing the beginning to show how they met and stuff))


1

She ran through the woods, tears streaming down her face. The limbs of the trees tore at her dress, and her shoes had slipped off a long time ago. 
“Mandy!” He called after her. She looked back, as if about to change her mind. She shook her head at him, who was standing a few feet from her.
“I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I wanted to tell you sooner, but I couldn’t!” He brushed his sideswept bangs out of his face. His hazel eyes looked pleadingly at her.
“I’m sorry. I can’t do this.” She said, tears coming down faster. “I thought you were the one for me; I never thought you’d be the one who’d break my heart.” She grabbed the corsage he gave her earlier that night, and threw it on the ground.
“Mandy, please don’t.” A tear slipped out of his eyes. Her heart lurched, but she stopped.
“Tim, no. No!” She shouted at him, and ran away. He stood there, devastated, and picked up the corsage and put it in the pocket of his tuxedo. A petal had fallen off, and stood there until the wind carried it away. He leaned against a tree, and sobbed until he finally fell asleep.

She woke up, the sun streaming in her eyes. Someone in a green apron was sitting across from her.
“Who are you?” She asked. The person smiled.
“You came here last night very late and fell asleep.” The person said. She looked around, realizing that she was in a Starbucks.
“Are you ok?” The person asked.
“No, I’m not.” She said, breaking into tears. The person shook his head, and walked to the phone, calling the police.

He opened his eyes, a doe nudging his foot. He had spent all night out in the forest, not knowing it. He opened his cell phone. Great. He thought. It wasn’t working. He sighed, and stood up. He saw a trail marker, and walked away. Maybe there’d be a pay-phone out there. He saw one by the parking lot, and slipped a few coins in it.
“Mandy Stein, 227 Bleaker please.” He tapped his fingers anxiously on the phone. Nothing greeted him except for a ‘busy’ signal. He sighed, and hung up, then dialed his own number.
“Mom, can you come pick me up at the park?” He rolled his eyes. “It’s a long story.” She started yelling. “No, not that!” He sighed. “No, I’ll tell you in the car.” He nodded, and moved his mouth to mimic her. “Ok, just come. Please?” Pause. “Bye.” He slammed the phone down. Great. Now his own mother didn’t even trust him. He sad down on a rock, and pulled the corsage out of his pocket. He rolled it back and forth in his hands, a solitary tear dripping down his cheeks

“Do you know your name?” They asked her when they arrived.
“Mandy Stein.” She pushed her blonde hair behind her ears. They plastered her with questions; where she lived, who she was, what happened. She broke down in tears, and slumped down on the table. They were treading her like she was a drug pusher; she was just a normal teen!
Her mother arrived in a few minutes, and pulled her into her arms.
“He lied to me!” She sobbed into her mother’s shoulder.
“I know honey, I know.” Her mother hugged her. “Come on, let’s go home and get you cleaned up now.” She put her arm around her shoulder. “Thank you officers.” She said as they left the Starbucks. They got to the car, and she slid in the front seat, smoothing her ripped prom dress.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Her mother asked.
“No, not really.” She said, looking out the window, her hair all crumpled up. Her mother stroked her hand, and drove home.

His mom’s car pulled up, and she honked. He sighed, and got in the car.
“So, what happened?” She asked sharply.
“Nothing.” He muttered, taking his suit coat off.
“Nothing? Nothing never happens. Something had to happen for you to spend all night in a forest, come home with a torn rented tux, and be crying your eyes out. You could’ve died out there!” She stopped the car and looked him in the eyes.
“If you really want to know, she found out! She left me because of it, and now I’m all alone!” He looked out the window, and she stroked his hair.
“Oh honey, I didn’t think it was that.” She hugged him, and they drove away.


Chapter One


She dressed for school in a green spaghetti-strap babydoll top over some ripped denim skinny jeans. She put on some ballet flats, her favorite Tiffany’s necklace, and her friendship bracelet. She pulled her hair back in low pigtails, and put on some light green eyeshadow.
“Bye mom!” She chirped as she grabbed her messenger bag.
“Bye honey!” Her mom waved. “Be back for dinner!”
“Ok!” She waved goodbye, and jumped on her bike.

He grabbed his cellphone and stuffed it in the pocket of his jeans. He tossed on a Metro Station t-shirt he got at one of their concerts, and his shark-tooth necklace. He put a checker hat on, and slipped on his Vans.
“I’ll be home late tonight.” He said as he slung his backpack over his shoulders.
“You sure? I’m making pasta tonight.” His mom said.
“It’s ok; me and some of the guys are going to the skate park.” He jumped on his skateboard, and left for school.

She coasted down a hill, dodging a boy on a skateboard. She arrived at school and locked her bike to a bike stand.

He saw her, and his heart lurched, like it never had before. He arrived at school, and shoved his skateboard in his locker.

“Mandy!” A girl shouted as she made her way towards her. “Hey, how was your weekend?” She asked.
“Ok, you?” She replied as she grabbed some books from her locker.
“Same. Hey, I have to run. See you at lunch!” The girl waved goodbye.
“Bye!” She waved, making her way to her homeroom.

“Hey dude!” A boy went up to him, and slapped him on the back.
“What’s up, man?” He asked.
“Not much, you?” 
“I’m doing ok.” He put his skateboard in his locker, and grabbed some books. “I have to go to homeroom. See you later!” He waved, and walked away.

She got her planner out as she sat down at a desk. She glimpsed to her left at a boy who was looking at her. She smiled, and he did too. She looked back at her planner, and at the “Things to Do” sidebar, put ‘find out who creepy stalker boy is’. He smiled, and waved. She looked over at her friend, who stifled a giggle. He looked down at his desk, crushed. She saw his expression, and felt bad. She wrote down her AIM username, and folded it into a paper airplane and threw it to him. He opened it up, and smiled. She grinned, and he grinned back.

























































Chapter Two

She was singing with her band tonight at a coffee shop, and was getting ready. She put on her distressed jeans and a sleeveless babydoll top, similar to the one she had worn a few days ago, except it was black this time and had lace on the bottom. She tied her choker that her aunt had given to her a long time ago. It was a black ribbon with a charm on it, a Tiffany key. She put a few other rings on, and slid some black heels on. Her crimped hair was tied behind her head, only a few strands peaking out. She grabbed her guitar, and her purse. 
“Mom, I’m ready to go!” She said. Her mom drove the carpool that picked up all the members of the band.

He was going out with a friend to a coffee shop to study for a quiz. Well, he found out that she was performing, and decided to go. He wanted to let her know that he was interested, without seeing like an infatuated stalker. He hopped on his skateboard, and went to the coffee shop.

She adjusted her microphone, and tuned her guitar. One of her friends played keyboard, and was also a singer. Her other, the girl she was talking to earlier, played guitar too, and sang.

He arrived, and sat down with his friend.
“Hey, is she that girl you were flirting with in homeroom?” His friend asked.
“Oh, it is?” He asked, and grinned.
“Dude!” His friend punched him playfully in the arm. He smiled too.

They dimmed the lights, and she started strumming the first few chords of the song. Her and her friends sang together, harmonizing perfectly. He looked at her, and their eyes met. She smiled, and her eyes danced in the darkness.

“It’s the first thing you see as we’re saying good-bye,
The last thing you hear as you’re watching me cry,
And something inside you
Is tearing
You want to let go.
So just stop and go,
Just stop and go.” She held out the ‘go’, and finished, smiling.

They finished performing, and she went to the barista.
“Hey, I’ll take one grande low-fat carmel machiato, with whip please.” She said, and fumbled for her wallet in her purse.
“Make that two!” He said, and smiled, holding out his wallet. She grinned, and shook her head. He smiled impishly, and nodded. He grabbed their drinks when they were done making them, and walked over to a corner table.
“You’re not a spotter or anything and about to kidnap me, are you?” She asked jokingly.
“Actually, yeah. The van’s parked out back.” He said, and laughed, when he saw her puzzled face. “No, I’m just Tim Laker. And you are?”
“Mandy. Mandy Stein.” She smiled, and extended her hand for a handshake. They shook hands, and he smiled.
“Hey, do you want to go, you know, maybe go to, well, umm...” He stuttered.
“A date?” She asked, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.
“Yeah. That’s what I meant.” He grinned. It was like she could read his mind or something.
“Friday night at 6:30? I’ll buy the popcorn?” She asked.
“Sure! I’ll get the tickets and the drinks!” He replied, grinning.
“Ok!” She looked at her phone, and saw the time. “Ooh, I have to go. I’ll see you tomorrow at school, then!” She smiled, and waved.

“Hey!” He ran up to her while she was getting some books from her locker.
“Oh, hi!” She smiled. “So what movie are we going to see tomorrow?” She asked.
“Umm...” He fumbled with his fingers, and laughed. “I don’t know. Whatever you want, I guess.”
“How about that new chick-flick that’s out?” She asked, her eyes dancing playfully.
“How about ‘Dawn of the Dead’?” He grinned.
“Fine. “Monty Python’ is playing at that small coffee shop.” She asked. He looked grinned.
“Oh sweet!” He grinned. “Let us ride to... CAMELOT!!!” She laughed, and locked her locker.
“I have to go; see you at lunch!” She waved, and walked down the hallway, her heels clicking against the tile. He watched her walk into her classroom, and smiled.

It was finally Friday, and both of them were excited about their first date.
She dressed in a forest-green tube top with matching pumps, and a denim miniskirt with a metal loop belt. She put a silver bracelet, and a matching necklace. He just wore a black t-shirt with some band logos on it, and some jeans with a studded belt, and some open-flap Converse.

She grabbed her purse sat on her front steps, waiting for him to pick her up. She fidgeted with her hair, styled to perfection with the perfect curls, up in a bun. He pulled up in her driveway and she got in his car, a black Corvette.
“It was my dads until he died from cancer.” He explained as she buckled up.
“Oh, for a minute there I thought you stole it from some old widower.” She joked. He laughed, and pulled out of her driveway.
“So, is this your first date?” He asked as they ate at a small Italian diner.
“No, but so far it’s my favorite!” She replied, and smiled.
“Me too.” He responded. They smiled, and continued talking about their lives, interests, and other small talk, until the waiter arrived.
“Mmmm... That lasagna looks delicious!” He said, eying Mandy’s food.
“Hey! Keep your hands to yourself!” She punched him playfully, and bit into the lasagna, making exaggerated sounds, grinning at Tim’s face.
“Meanie!” He pulled some spaghetti onto his fork and slurped it down.
“At least I have some garlic bread!” She said, holding it up for him to see.
“And I have a Caesar salad!” He grinned, holding his salad bowl out to her.
“Shut up.” She said, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.
“Hurry up and eat so we can watch that movie.” He said. “Oh, I have some questions.” He asked.
“What?” She asked, puzzled.
“What is your favorite color?” He asked, smiling.
“Purple?” She said, unsure of what he was doing.
“What is your name?”

“Mandy Stein.” 

“What is the velocity of an unladen swallow?” He asked, and she grinned.
“What do you mean? African or European?” She replied in a silly British accent. He laughed.
“Guess I’m doomed.” He said, and smiled. She smiled back, and pushed her plate away.
“Well, I’m done. You ready?” She asked. He nodded, and paid the bill. 
“Come on, let’s go!” He smiled, and walked out the doors. She ran after him, smiling like nothing could be better.



You're not supposed to know what's wrong, or what happens later on, so don't ask Smile


Last edited by Sweet&Sour on Mon Dec 14, 2009 4:59 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: *NEED TITLE*   Fri Nov 20, 2009 10:31 am

I don't know, sounds a bit like a fairy tale, and the kids sound so perfect. Really great concept, and your "he/she" switching is really good.
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PostSubject: Re: *NEED TITLE*   Sat Nov 21, 2009 12:00 pm

I love it
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PostSubject: Re: *NEED TITLE*   Mon Nov 23, 2009 10:45 am

it's great
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Hanna (:
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PostSubject: Re: *NEED TITLE*   Mon Nov 23, 2009 11:38 pm

Thanks (:
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Hanna (:
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DragonEggs : over-rated. . .
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PostSubject: Re: *NEED TITLE*   Mon Nov 23, 2009 11:38 pm

Thanks (:
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Hanna (:
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PostSubject: Re: *NEED TITLE*   Mon Dec 14, 2009 4:59 am

Added more!
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PostSubject: Re: *NEED TITLE*   Mon Dec 14, 2009 10:12 am

SO good!
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