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 *brand new poem* Lily's Poems (:

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PostSubject: *brand new poem* Lily's Poems (:   Mon Sep 28, 2009 3:54 am


WebkinzBeach I Ode to thee
Your neverending stream
Of drama, lies, and changing names
And all our wayward dreams.

Oh WB, your fights, your spam
The overcrowded threads
And the roleplay characters
In one another's beds.

Your members try too hard, WB,
To gain some admiration
By exaggerating, straight out fibbing
And cursing the administration

Yet something else blossoms here
And every member knows
Between the lies and demotions
A kinship slowly grows.

Between your acronyms, WB,
We slowly grew together
Into iBFF's or soul sistas
That betrayal hasn't weathered

You may have found us someone
With whom we can confide
Our secrets, gossip, and of course
The truth behind the lies

And so I finish this short poem
With thanks to WB
For giving me a new set of friends
And so I ode to Thee

(:

Stay with me
A poem inspired by Of Mice and Men.
Words by John Steinbeck.
Rearranged by me.

Look across the river
You can almost see it

The sun left the valley.
The mountains blaze.

You ainít gonna leave me?
I gotta.

The clearing was quiet.
The wind died.

Stay with me.
I canít.

Men shouting to one another
In the distance

But I got you.
Aní you got me.

The voices were close now,
Rolling up the hills.

When I gonna do it?
Gonna do it soon.

ďStay with me.Ē

He now lay without quivering.
I hadda.

I had you.
Stay with me.
):

Fingerprints

They are there.
Everytime you touch.
Everytime they touch.
Still there.

Smudge on gold.
Always unclean.
Forever unclean.
Nevermore gold.

Touch an altar.
Unique, Blessed, special.
Touched, dirtied, defaced
An unpure altar.

White cloth can't hide
You may think it may
Come whatever may
A lie cannot hide

Fingerprints can be forever seen
Reminders and regrets
Always a regret.
There to be seen.

Do not touch.
Take care of gold.

Do not dirty.
Protect the altar.

Do not forget:
Take care of you.

Sybollic poetry. "Your body is your temple, protect it, let no one touch it, let no one harm it"


Last edited by Simplylily on Sat Oct 10, 2009 10:27 am; edited 7 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: *brand new poem* Lily's Poems (:   Mon Sep 28, 2009 5:47 am

*claps from the back row*

Bravo! Magnificent! One thing that stuck out to me is something picky;

"With you we may have found someone,
with whom we may confide"

Double "with".


You are funny, girlie.
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PostSubject: Re: *brand new poem* Lily's Poems (:   Mon Sep 28, 2009 6:16 am

I know ): that stuck out to me too. but i couldn't phrase it just right. until now. better, dear grammar nazi?

and thanks ! *blush*
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PostSubject: Re: *brand new poem* Lily's Poems (:   Mon Sep 28, 2009 6:26 am

Ja, dear poet de la Lily.

Much better.
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PostSubject: Re: *brand new poem* Lily's Poems (:   Mon Sep 28, 2009 10:37 am

-confused about your first comment-

Uhmm that was totally spam Hola. I wanted
comments on a perfectly lovely piece of poetry that is actually pretty
meaningful. -delete-


Last edited by _furryfurby on Wed Sep 30, 2009 5:52 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : merged :D)
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holagurl175
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PostSubject: Re: *brand new poem* Lily's Poems (:   Mon Sep 28, 2009 10:48 am

Shame shame Lily. Double post.
-Merge-

(:
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PostSubject: Re: *brand new poem* Lily's Poems (:   Mon Sep 28, 2009 10:49 am

It wasn't a double post... you posted in between then i deleted it... Now if your going to post I'd like either critism or compliments on my writing. Thanks.
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PostSubject: Re: *brand new poem* Lily's Poems (:   Mon Sep 28, 2009 9:50 pm

Ja= yes.

poet de la Lily= cool sounding way to say Lily the Poet (technically its Poet of the Lily, but hey, I don't take Spanish anymore).

Better?

You are very humorous, though.
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PostSubject: Re: *brand new poem* Lily's Poems (:   Mon Sep 28, 2009 10:58 pm

Lol that is a rather cool way of saying it (:

And thanks, that's what this poem was going for. Its satire.
And haha your siggie=loveee. and avvie too. but whoever said that quote in your signature, well she's a winner ! Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: *brand new poem* Lily's Poems (:   Mon Sep 28, 2009 11:01 pm

^.~ I never thought of you to be like that... though I bet you could write some darn-tootin' awesome serious stuff, if you wanted too.


I agree, that "SimplyLily" lady was pure genius.
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PostSubject: Re: *brand new poem* Lily's Poems (:   Tue Sep 29, 2009 2:36 am

why thanks (: if only i had a good idea and an unbroken chunk of time.

yes, i've heard about her.
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PostSubject: Re: *brand new poem* Lily's Poems (:   Wed Sep 30, 2009 5:56 am

Nat wrote:
Shame shame Lily. Double post.
-Merge-

(:

shame, shame. didn't merge x]
-OFFICIAL MERGE-


that was really amazing, lily! every single part of that piece was true. i love how you put this site into a poem. super creative!
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PostSubject: Re: *brand new poem* Lily's Poems (:   Wed Sep 30, 2009 6:21 am

awww thanks furbs, super sweet (:

and to tell the truth i didn't feel like merging just to make hola mad. she spammed, so i double posted (:
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PostSubject: Re: *brand new poem* Lily's Poems (:   Wed Sep 30, 2009 7:58 am

Aww. How sweet Lily! I did a lil' secret 2 whht u just said just 2 make u HAPPY. (;

Anyways, criticism, got it. First off, LOVE the line bout the RPs and sleeping in each others bed. Not liking how alot of it gives off negativeness.
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PostSubject: Re: *brand new poem* Lily's Poems (:   Wed Sep 30, 2009 9:10 am

It was negative...
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PostSubject: Re: *brand new poem* Lily's Poems (:   Fri Oct 02, 2009 5:04 am

I like it! It shows how we do act here on WB, and how we need to change. We do a lot of things wrong, and I think we need to change and fix out problems. We need to end the drama and all the lies and just be friends. Who cares how old you are, what your name is, or how you look! We just want to have a good time and make friends. It's not too hard to just be yourself. We don't expect anything from you except to have fun. (:
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PostSubject: Re: *brand new poem* Lily's Poems (:   Fri Oct 02, 2009 8:53 am

Yeah, I was hoping it would bring awareness about. There were certain people and instances I was thinking about when I wrote that Ode, and it was purely ironical and satire, but true as well.

New poem up ! Written for LA class, we had to rearrange the words and phrases of an author and turn it into a poem. I wrote about the death of Lennie brought about by his best friend, George.
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PostSubject: Re: *brand new poem* Lily's Poems (:   Fri Oct 02, 2009 9:41 am

i like your second one. :]
which author did you do?
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PostSubject: Re: *brand new poem* Lily's Poems (:   Fri Oct 02, 2009 11:02 am

John Steinbeck of Mice and Men and Grapes of Wrath fame. Of Mice and Men was a great book, really sad ending tho ):
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PostSubject: Re: *brand new poem* Lily's Poems (:   Mon Oct 05, 2009 6:57 am

I had to read Of Mice and Men 4 summer reading!
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PostSubject: Re: *brand new poem* Lily's Poems (:   Thu Oct 08, 2009 9:47 am

And that has to do with analyzing and commenting on my poem how??
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PostSubject: Re: *brand new poem* Lily's Poems (:   Thu Oct 08, 2009 10:28 am

Lil, yours are so much better then mine, I'm jealous! LOL.
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PostSubject: Re: *brand new poem* Lily's Poems (:   Sat Oct 10, 2009 10:28 am

new poem ! i think everyone on here should read this one, it has a lot of meaning behind it.

and thanks rayne (:
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PostSubject: Re: *brand new poem* Lily's Poems (:   Sat Oct 10, 2009 9:45 pm

I rly like the meaning of the new one!
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