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PostSubject: Red Rock Creek- a murder mystery Last Edited: 5:07 PM 10/6 (Active)   Sun Jun 14, 2009 5:01 am


Red Rock Creek

prolougue
As I hiked in the wilderness near the campgrounds, I came across a small stream. It was clear and pristine. Small minnows swam in the deeper parts. I could've walked across the shallow parts, and barely have gotten my calves wet. No more than six feet across and three feet deep at the biggest part, brook or creek seemed a better name for it. At the narrowest part, there was a boulder splitting the flow of the water. The boulder was a ghostly and frightening bloody red. I went over the word in my head. Blood red. Blood red. I had the strangest feeling someone had perished here. Actually, they had been murdered here. And I had the strangest feeling I was next.





chapter one

Robyn nearly vomited. She turned from the rock and bee lined for the tent. Every step she took brought another chilling thought to her head. She never thought that Dad had meant, “don’t let the creepy things get ya’” when she left. He was joking; he never meant to foretell that there truly were creepy things. Murder scenes didn’t just appear in the middle of the woods. Well, she thought, that wasn’t definitely a murder scene. Blood didn’t mean much. Except that she watched those crime shows where these criminal justice geniuses figure out cause of death and all from the blood stains. So, if she were a Crime Scene Investigator, what would she think? If she were some spare blood, where would she land? If she were a killer where would she kill? Why would she kill? Who would she kill? She swallowed hard; thinking too hard about this made her nauseous.

Her camping trip had suddenly curved a wild turn for the worse.

She darted into the four person tent which was much too roomy for her father and herself. Her father, an average Joe of a dad, sat on the floor of the tent, reading. He looked up, his green eyes feeling the fright she was is in. Her father wasn’t very concerned, but decided to see what was going on. He patted the floor next to him, and Robyn sat where he had patted. He took off his reading glasses. He didn’t need them to read that Robyn was in a worse state that he had thought before.

“Dad,” she said, “I saw something really creepy on my hike. Can I tell you about it?” She frowned. She sure felt stupid saying this. “I found this creek. It was really pretty and all. Cool and clean, and it had these cute silver fish. There were lots, and tiny, but that’s not the point. It was small and shallow, but there was a rock. A boulder, really.” Her jaw stood suspended for a second. “It was covered, covered with…” Robyn paused, her jaw trying to stay stationary, her brain telling it to move. “Covered with blood!” Robyn felt angry with those three words. She spat them directly in her father’s face.

Robyn’s father closed the book, losing his page. His book’s title was something like Camping for an Amateur Dad and His Daughter. He squeezed his eyes part of the way shut. He was dismayed, but priding himself on his calmness he simply said, “Do you know this was human blood?”

“Well…” Robyn never considered the fact that she might have been wrong. She just knew. She was always a fresh and headstrong girl, as her father knew. “Yes, I did know it was blood. It was covered with blood!” She spat those three words again. “Covered with blood, and I felt a presence there. Someone must have been there. But I was alone… I think. I was scared.” Her father stood up. He hesitantly took out his cell phone to call his wife, Katherine.

“Hey, Kat? Hi sweetie…” He told her about what Robyn saw. Kat hissed into the phone.

“Get Robyn and get out, Tom! That is just not right!”

“Hon, really, it’s just—“Kat had hung up. Again, he stayed calm while the girls of the family freaked out. Thomas the Calm, father of Robyn the Scared, Husband of Katherine the Worried, decided to go to the creek. He would go against the will of both women, and he would check out this scary little river.

“You know what, Red Robyn? Let’s go to the creek. Maybe it was nothing.” He grinned confidently, showing teeth he never got those fancy retainers and expanders to fix. Robyn opened her mouth, and then closed it, her face pale.

“Dad, no way!” Her dad put his glasses back on, they made him feel more respectable.

“We’re going.” He strolled out of the tent. Inhaling the pungent potion of pine and plants, he beckoned for Robyn to follow. Robyn sat cross-legged, refusing to budge.

“Oh, da-ad!” she whined. He just didn’t understand that there was this whole murder vibe around the rock. Indignantly, Robyn decided she might as well lead him to the rock. She could leave him there and watch from a safer distance. “All right, fine.” She stood up and walked right next to him. She led the way to the small body of water.

As they walked along the bank, her dad whistled a happy tune. Robyn just rolled her eyes. How embarrassing for a mature young lady, like herself, to have her dad just whistling behind her! She stopped abruptly at the rock, and his whistling stopped, too.

“Oh. You’re right.” He didn’t feel very calm any more.

“Yep.” Robyn blinked sassily and began to walk away. He dad grabbed her elbow. He bent down and put a finger on the boulder.

“It’s blood, but I don’t think it’s too fresh.” He studied his finger. It suddenly had a nick in it. The rock didn’t look sharp. Running his finger along the surface of the rock again, he felt the sharp pain. Another gash had appeared. “You’re right.” He murmured something else, but realized that Robyn had wandered off. Now, he felt the same way is daughter had felt not long ago. He was a full grown man, and he felt gullible and vulnerable. He was scared. Wiping the blood that had once resided in the veins of his finger on the rock, he set off to find his daughter.

Robyn and her dad had gone in opposite directions. They didn’t find each other for a long, long, while.



chapter two:

part I

I, was (yes, again) scared. I had tried to get as far away from the dumb rock, without losing myself. But I had lost myself!

If you had never been near the creek, you’d say it’s impossible to lose yourself. But I can tell you, when you’re scared and alone near that little stream, you can lose yourself in two ways.

I was lost in the sense that I had not a pebble’s worth of knowledge of where I was. I knew there was this twisty looking pine next to me on my left, as I sat there on the forest floor. The pine was creepy, almost as bad as the rock. I was tempted to check it for blood stains. I knew there was a bush with little blue berries. But I what I didn’t know was the location of the creek; or the campsite.

I was lost in the sense that my emotional control had disappeared. All day it had been ebbing from me. Now I’m weeping and I’m lost and I’m very upset. I felt like a stinky little two year old who’s diaper hadn’t been changed in months and had no contact with its parents for about three days.

In other words, I felt like there was dirt and leaves in every nook and cranny, if you get my drift. In addition, it seemed like I was gone for about three years, not thirty minutes. I hope you understand what it's like to be lost like I was. I feels bad. I hope you understand why this rock was doing this destruction. It's a really strange world out here. You'll be exploring, happy, and suddenly you find something that ruins everything. That's the rock. It ruins everything.

But, somehow, I felt I should go to the rock. Maybe then I’d be in a more open spot, and maybe my dad would see me. Standing up, I headed toward that cursed rock for the third time. I tried to head for the rock, that is.

Eventually, in who knows how long, I got there. I smiled bitterly at the stupid little hunk of minerals. I sat down on it. It was really sharp, and I sat a little harder than I should have. It hurt, and new blood trickled over the rock. I tried to lie down, but ended up getting my chestnut hair wet, plus a new headache to go with my wet hair.

It was really, really bad.

I decided to scream and despair till dad came.

part II

Unearthly shrieks filled the air, followed by long weeping sounds. Then the screams would start again. And somehow, whether the trees were too thick in his part of the woods or if he was simply half deaf, Robyn’s father could not hear them. He walked on, his eyes damp and inflamed as well. He pictured his daughter. She sat on the banks of the river.

She splashed along in the rocks. She smiled and laughed. She looked much younger, like a real young child. But as she spoke her voice was mature and sarcastic, as usual.

“I’m so glad dad is gone… it’s pretty here. I never liked him. Cindy’s dad was way cooler.”

The uncool dad’s cheeks turned red with anger, as the dream Robyn’s face grew red with lipstick.

“But now I’m here. I’ll just stay in my tent once he gets back to me. I brought my iPod for a reason.”

He had to find her! So what if this was just a vision? It greatly irritated him to think that his daughter would rather be with her “biffel”(whatever that meant)’s father instead of her own. And he had insisted she didn’t bring that little music player with her.

As he trudged through the woods, he had no concerns that she might be hurt. He whistled bitterly as he blindly clawed at loose branches that didn’t exist. It made him feel like he was going to get there sooner.

The sooner he was there, the closer he was to reprimanding her, and knowing she was happy to be here. The question shot through his heart.

He always was trying to get closer to her. Robyn clung to Kat as they went shopping, got pedicures.

But Robyn had poked the slugs on the sidewalk with a stick, while Kat just kept walking. She had stopped to listen to bird calls while Katrina screamed into her phone. And Tom had stopped with her. Nature was one thing Robyn and Tom had shared forever. They both appreciated the beauty of the world around them, in their own ways.

Tom considered this. If he heard a bird, he would run inside the house, grab a field guide and flip through the pages. Robyn would simply laugh and say, “It’s a bird! What else do you need to know?!” He sadly hoped she was doing the same. Just happily waiting for him to come by.

All this considering had brought him to the clearing by the river. He scratched at some irritation on his skin, which he hoped wasn’t poison ivy. He heaved a big sigh. Wiping the sweat from his brow, Robyn’s dad sat down on a rock. He had checked it wasn’t the red one.

Suddenly, a hawk screamed and dove at something. Robyn’s dad got up and smiled at the sight of nature doing its work.

Just as suddenly, a girl screamed, as a killer dove in to make its kill.


Last edited by Sunny Baudelaire on Fri Oct 09, 2009 6:07 am; edited 30 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Red Rock Creek- a murder mystery Last Edited: 5:07 PM 10/6 (   Sun Jun 14, 2009 5:10 am

RED ROCK CREEK EXTRAS



Interview with the Author:

I: So, what inspired you to start this creepy story?
S.B.: I started it as a roleplay. You guys may know that I've wanted to make a bloody gory murder roleplay. I started with the prologue in 2nd person, and I said, "This roleplay sucks!" So I changed it to a story about camping and murder.
I: Any reason why Robyn is with her father, not mother?
S.B.: I really didn't consider that, but now that you ask, I guess it's because my dad is somewhat negligent. He doesn't let me get murdered, but he's always kind of forgetting. So Robyn's dad is like that, too.

BANNERS:

Code:
 

[img]http://illiweb.com/fa/pbucket.gif[/img]

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Last edited by Sunny Baudelaire on Tue Jan 19, 2010 11:38 pm; edited 9 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Red Rock Creek- a murder mystery Last Edited: 5:07 PM 10/6 (   Sun Jun 14, 2009 11:18 am

awesome story
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PostSubject: Re: Red Rock Creek- a murder mystery Last Edited: 5:07 PM 10/6 (   Mon Jun 15, 2009 6:08 am

I want to ask you guys, does the dad being sentimental seem tacky to you? I feel really stupid about it. I kind of copied Star's "I Want Her Back". >.<
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PostSubject: Re: Red Rock Creek- a murder mystery Last Edited: 5:07 PM 10/6 (   Mon Jun 15, 2009 7:56 am

Idk
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PostSubject: Re: Red Rock Creek- a murder mystery Last Edited: 5:07 PM 10/6 (   Mon Jun 15, 2009 10:54 am

Emma, if you don't know what I'm talking about, don't answer. <.< When you ask for advice, do you want to hear "what" as an answer? Same for you Meercat. You see how the dad just babbles on about Robyn growing up? You think that's too tacky?
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PostSubject: Re: Red Rock Creek- a murder mystery Last Edited: 5:07 PM 10/6 (   Thu Jun 18, 2009 2:19 pm

it was good, their's no reason in changing it
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PostSubject: Re: Red Rock Creek- a murder mystery Last Edited: 5:07 PM 10/6 (   Mon Jun 22, 2009 7:15 am

I added a few more sentences. Expect a HUGE burst of writing in a couple weeks(see my thread in Newz).

I think you know what's gonna happen to Robyn! *scary music plays*
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PostSubject: Re: Red Rock Creek- a murder mystery Last Edited: 5:07 PM 10/6 (   Tue Jun 23, 2009 2:55 am

Yay!! i luv your story!
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PostSubject: Re: Red Rock Creek- a murder mystery Last Edited: 5:07 PM 10/6 (   Thu Jul 16, 2009 10:24 am

HIHI!
Updating from Summer Love's computer:

Chapter Uno has a huge facelift, chapter two is revised, but nothing new yet.

Chapter I and II will be posted when I'm ungrounded! =)



I have posted the totally revised version of what I have already posted. I also made a banner for my supporters:

Code:
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Copy this and you get the banner.


Last edited by Sunny Baudelaire on Sun Jul 26, 2009 5:24 am; edited 2 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Red Rock Creek- a murder mystery Last Edited: 5:07 PM 10/6 (   Thu Jul 16, 2009 10:36 am

Cool story you got talent
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PostSubject: Re: Red Rock Creek- a murder mystery Last Edited: 5:07 PM 10/6 (   Sun Aug 09, 2009 3:00 am

Added my first update in a little while. Enjoy!

Added another big update! EPIC-NESS, PEOPLE! I have more waiting, but I gotta get some more interest.
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PostSubject: Re: Red Rock Creek- a murder mystery Last Edited: 5:07 PM 10/6 (   Tue Jul 27, 2010 8:30 am

...bump? I'd like critique from people who haven't read, but no new updates.
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PostSubject: Re: Red Rock Creek- a murder mystery Last Edited: 5:07 PM 10/6 (   Wed Jul 28, 2010 4:46 am

Good story. :P Very...Tangy and Delicious o_o I showed this story to a lady at my writer camp thing and she's like.. YOU WIN THE SCARY STORY CONTEST. I told her it wasn't mine but the didn't hear me. "THIS IS NOT MY STORY." She got all disappointed and walked away sadly.
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PostSubject: Re: Red Rock Creek- a murder mystery Last Edited: 5:07 PM 10/6 (   Fri Jul 30, 2010 10:54 am

That's sweet. It kind of sucks at the moment, though...
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