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PostSubject: Blonds   Mon Sep 29, 2008 7:37 am

1) A blond called me to get my phone #

2) A blond was going to the airport. She saw a sign that said, "Airport Left" she she turned around and went home.

3) A blond stared at a OJ container 'cause it said concintrate

4) A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, "I have a complaint!"

"Yes, Ma'am?" said the librarian looking up at her.

"I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!"

Puzzled by her complain the librarian asked "What was wrong with it ...?"

"It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!" said the blonde.

The librarian nodded and said, "Ahhh. So you must be the person who took our phone book."

5) A Blonde, called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.

The tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows". The woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that's a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is working fine."

6)A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing. He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down. He demands, "What's so funny?" She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"

7)A blonde walks into a electronic store and asks the manager, "Can I buy that TV"
"No"
"Why not?"
"Because your a blonde."
So the blonde goes out and dyes her hair red. She returned to the electronic store and said, "Can I buy that TV?"
"No"
"Why not?"
"Your a blonde."
So the blonde goes and shaves her hair off and returns to the electronic store and says, "Can I buy that TV?"
"No"
"Why not?"
"You're a blonde"
"How can you tell I'm a blonde, I dyed my hair red, then shaved it off!"
"Because that's not a TV, that's a microwave!"

8)A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets. First, they called the brunette in and asked her a question.
"If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and why?"
After pondering the question she answered, "I would like to go to Mars because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra terrestrial life on the planet."
They said "well okay, thank you." And told her that they would get back to her.
Next, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her the same question. In reply, "I would like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings." Again, "thank you" and they would get back to her.
Finally, the blond entered the room and they asked her the same question they asked the brunette and the redhead. She thought for a while and replied, "I would like to go to the sun."
The people from NASA replied, "why, don't you know that if you went to the sun you would burn to death?"
The blond smirked and put her hands on her hips. "Are you guys dumb? I'd go at night!"

9)Two blondes lock thier keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.

Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".

10) BLOND INVENTIONS
1.Tricycle kickstand
2.Solar flashlight
3.Fire proof matches
4.Inflatable dartboard
5.Glass hammer
6.Black light bulb
7.Boomerang grenade


~*NO OFFENCE TO BLONDS*~ ( like me! i think tehre funny!)




FRUBS:
oh, you forgot a blonde invention!
waterproof towels xD.

a blonde, brunette, and redhead comes to a magical mirror.
[i forgot some of the plot lol]
the mirror asks whoever thinks they are the best.
they get sucked into the mirror if they're lying.
the brunette goes, "I think I'm the best."
She gets sucked in.
the redhead declares, "I know I'm the best!"
She, too, gets sucked in.
the blonde says, "I think.."
she didn't get to finish, because she was sucked in.


Last edited by Sugar and Spice on Wed Oct 01, 2008 9:57 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Blonds   Mon Sep 29, 2008 7:41 am

omg, lol! sooo funny!!! i can go either way for blonde or bruntette, so it don't bother me. they r hilarious!!!!i luv the circle oneee!!!!
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PostSubject: Re: Blonds   Mon Sep 29, 2008 7:43 am

thyanks
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PostSubject: Re: Blonds   Wed Oct 01, 2008 8:01 am

jacob has good blond jokes here are some
Chapter 13. GOOD THING I'VE GOT A STRONG STOMACH

"You know how you drown a blonde, Rosalie?" I asked without stopping or turning to look at her. "Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool."

Chapter 15. TICK TOCK TICK TOCK TICK TOCK

"Hey, do you know what you call a blonde with a brain?" I asked, and then continued
on the same breath, "a golden retriever."

"S'not so hard to erase a blonde's memory," I countered. "Just blow in her ear."

Chapter 16. TOO-MUCH-INFORMATION ALERT

"Have you heard this one, Psycho? How do a blonde's brain cells die?"
She didn't say anything.
"Well?" I asked. "Do you know the punch line or not?"
She looked pointedly at the TV and ignored me.
"Has she heard it?" I asked Edward.
There was no humor on his tense face – he didn't move his eyes from Bella. But he said, "No."
"Awesome. So you'll enjoy this, bloodsucker – a blonde's brain cells die alone."
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PostSubject: Re: Blonds   Wed Oct 01, 2008 8:17 am

oh, you forgot a blonde invention!
waterproof towels xD.

a blonde, brunette, and redhead comes to a magical mirror.
[i forgot some of the plot lol]
the mirror asks whoever thinks they are the best.
they get sucked into the mirror if they're lying.
the brunette goes, "I think I'm the best."
She gets sucked in.
the redhead declares, "I know I'm the best!"
She, too, gets sucked in.
the blonde says, "I think.."
she didn't get to finish, because she was sucked in.
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PostSubject: Re: Blonds   Wed Oct 01, 2008 8:28 am

Lolz.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were being chased by the police. The redhead jumped in a dumpster and went "Meow! Meow!" The police said, "No, that's just a cat." The brunette jumped in a doghouse and went "Woof! Woof!" The police said, "No, that's just a dog." The blonde had nowhere to go. She jumped into a sack of potatoes and went "Potatoes! Potatoes!" (My friend added this part,) "You're going to jail for 90 days," the police said. "Uh oh. Me go bye-bye," the blonde said.
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PostSubject: Re: Blonds   Wed Oct 01, 2008 9:03 am

lol! can i add it to teh front?
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PostSubject: Re: Blonds   Wed Oct 01, 2008 9:38 am

go ahead.
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PostSubject: Re: Blonds   Wed Oct 01, 2008 9:55 am

k thanks!
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PostSubject: Re: Blonds   Sun Oct 05, 2008 12:17 am

Two of my friends came up with this one:
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are told to go into a room where if they tell a lie, they disappeare forever. The brunette says, "I think I'm pretty." She disappeares.
The redhead says, "I think I'm smart." She disappeares, too.
The blonde says, "I think-" She disappeares without even getting to finish.

THIS IS NOTHING AGAINST REDHEADS, BLONDES, OR BRUNETTES.
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PostSubject: Re: Blonds   Sun Oct 05, 2008 12:42 am

EnchantixBloom wrote:
Lolz.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were being chased by the police. The redhead jumped in a dumpster and went "Meow! Meow!" The police said, "No, that's just a cat." The brunette jumped in a doghouse and went "Woof! Woof!" The police said, "No, that's just a dog." The blonde had nowhere to go. She jumped into a sack of potatoes and went "Potatoes! Potatoes!" (My friend added this part,) "You're going to jail for 90 days," the police said. "Uh oh. Me go bye-bye," the blonde said.

i know that joke. they all jump in potatoe sacks
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PostSubject: Re: Blonds   Sun Oct 05, 2008 1:34 am

I dont have too many blonde moments. I am a smart blonde. xD

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PostSubject: Re: Blonds   Mon Oct 06, 2008 10:45 am

ooh add:
what do you call a blonde whose hair is died another color?
Spoiler:
 
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PostSubject: Re: Blonds   Mon Oct 06, 2008 11:12 am

Omg! I cracked up at a few of them!
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PostSubject: Re: Blonds   Sat Oct 25, 2008 11:49 am

Q: What happened when the blonde went to the movie theater?
A: She saw the “NC-17: Under 17 not admitted” sign, so she went home and got 16 friends.

One Friday night, a guy takes a blonde out to the movies. When they get
there the guy ask the blonde “What do u want to eat” she says
“M&Ms.” When the guy returns, the blonde begins to pick out all the
brown colored M&Ms. The guy ask “Why are you picking all the brown
ones. She says, “Because I’m allergic to CHOCOLATE!”

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb
A: One to hold the bulb the rest to turn the house

There is a brunette and a blonde hanging over the edge of a cliff off a
piece of rope. They realize that the rope will break if one of them
doesn’t let go and they will both fall to their deaths. The brunette
starts this big heartwarming speech about how she is going to sacrifice
herself. At the end of the speech the blonde starts clapping.

An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.
They
were eating lunch and the Irishman said, “Corned beef and cabbage. If I
get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I’m going to jump
off this building.”
The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, “Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I’m going to jump off, too.”
The blond opened his lunch and said, “Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I’m jumping too.”
The next day the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage and jumped to his death.
The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito and jumped, too.
The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.
At
the funeral the Irishman’s wife was weeping. She said, “If I’d known
how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have
given it to him again!”
The Mexican’s wife also wept and said,”I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn’t realize he hated burritos so much.”
Everyone turned and stared at the blonde’s wife.
“Hey, don’t look at me,” she said. “He makes his own lunch.”



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PostSubject: Re: Blonds   Mon Dec 28, 2009 2:48 am

Two blondes in texas sit in lawn chairs staring up at the moon. One blonde says to the other, "I wonder what is farther, the moon or Florida." The other blonde says. "Hello! Can you see Florida from here?!"
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PostSubject: Re: Blonds   Fri Jan 01, 2010 6:44 am

This is one I just made up:

A blonde, brunette, and a red-head are being accused of robbing a jewelry store. They're taken to court, and the judge asks them one at a time to prove themselves innocent.

The brunette says: "I was studying for a mid term".

The red-head says: "I was at my friend's house".

Then, the blonde says: "Idk what 'inasend' means but all I did was flirt with a guy in a tux until they came out with bags of shiny things"

This is not meant to be offensive to blondes, only for your amusement xD
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PostSubject: Re: Blonds   Fri Jan 01, 2010 7:51 am

I don't get yours, Doggie....

A blonde goes to the doctor.

"Doctor, every time I touch somewhere on my body, it hurts."

The doctor looks at her for a few moments, then concludes:

"You've got a broken finger."
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PostSubject: Re: Blonds   Fri Jan 01, 2010 11:28 pm

In mine basically the brunette and red-head are lying but their lies are believeable. But then the blonde totally gives them away by saying the she was flirting with the security guard while the brunette and the red-head stole the jewelry.
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PostSubject: Re: Blonds   Sat Jan 02, 2010 1:56 am

3 girls are told to pick one thing to bring into the desert with them. The brunette brings food, the redhead brings water, and the blonde brings a car door. As you can imagine, the other two girls are quite mad that the blonde didn't bring something useful. When they demanded she explain herself, she simply said 'well when it gets hot i can just roll down the car window!'
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